Dear Daddy

Dear Daddy,

What happened to us? We used to be so close. I remember all the family times we had and the motorcycle rides we took. The trips in our black freightliner all over the U.S and all the people met along the way. Those were the good ole days. Now it is like I barely even exist. It is always the Zulus or now the Omens before me. You can barely walk because of your selfish act to ride across country on a motorcycle after EVERYBODY told you not to. You force me to be cordial to that poor excuse of a wife you married. This is not how it should be between us. I cannot even trust you. I would trust an enemy of mine before I trust you with anything. I should not have to AVOID calling you; I should be WILLING to call you. Well, I am here to tell you…I forgive you and thank you.

I forgive you because I want to take the power I gave you a long time ago. I want to be able to have a relationship with you but the fact of the matter is that you are so wrapped up in yourself that you do not even care about anything or anybody else. You are a dangerous kind of selfish and every day I work the absolute hardest I can to turn my genes around so that I do not end up like you, which is disabled and lonely. You pushed every one away, including me. You did wrong by all five of your kids, their mothers, and then you did wrong by my mother and my grandmother which were the main people here for you in your times of need. All I can say is wow, and that is a shame. When I listen to mom tell me what was going on ‘behind the scenes’ of what I saw as a kid…I only have questions. My biggest question is: What was the point in all that? You just…I am having trouble trying to control my deep anger and animosity that I feel for you at this point in my life, but it is hard.

You are the one losing out because you do not interact with me. I feel no shame because it is all you.  But, I do want to thank you. Thank you for teaching what NOT to look for in somebody else. Thank you for allowing me to learn from your constant mistakes. Dad, I can honestly say that if this was the very last time I ever got to say anything to you---- I forgive you and may God have mercy on you. I love you…but I love you as the father you USED to be.

Love,

Aria

Us back then...

Us now...

Who is my role model???

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Little kids always have heroes. They watch television and they say, “Mommy, Mommy! I want to grow up and be just like that man right there! Look Mommy!” They jump up and down and point radically at the television screen. They never think twice about who that person truly is or what exactly it is that got them on TV in the first place they just want to be like them. However, when they get older they get asked the more serious, future based question: Who is my role model?

            When I think of a role model I ponder a few questions such as: What have they been through, what have they overcome, how do they face their obstacles, and more importantly…Do they ever meet the bar they set for themselves? Most kids or teenagers rarely think about any of that, they just jump up and say, “I want to be just like her/him when I grow up!” I found out that it was never that simple.

          I found out recently that my mother is truly my role model. Actually, I would go as far as saying she is a living inspiration of what I will continue to strive to be as I grow up. My mom has been through a tremendous amount of obstacles in her life that have molded her into the beautiful woman that she is today. Had it not been for those adventures she embarked on or the mistakes she made, she would not have half of the wisdom she has. As I grow older and continue to listen to my mother tell her stories about her past and things she wish she could have done differently, I can only be proud to know that she has gained an infinite amount of knowledge. I want to be like her in a way, but then I also want to be more. I learn like a sponge, I soak up all the information I possibly can from my mom so that I can not only apply it to my life but also help other people.

            In the near future when I can show my appreciation more to my mom for always being there for me, I hope that she truly understands my gratitude. I could not express how thankful that I already am for the mother that God blessed me with.

If I could live anywhere....

If I could live anywhere I would probably live in the south. I have family down south and they are very warm hearted people and enormously kind. They are successful in whatever they set themselves to do. They strive to do their very best and they do not quit. In the south it’s not just my family that seems that way, it is others too. The mood in the south is very home loving and warm. People are helpful and also very understanding. The people are extremely kind.

            The weather in the south is beautiful! The sun almost always shines and the climate stays warm and inviting. I have never been a person for the cold anyhow, regardless of my birthday being in the dead of winter in December. I can get very picky; I do not like to be very cold and I do not like to be very hot. In the south, they mostly have mild winters and summers. I can deal with the heat but, I particularly dislike the cold.

            I enjoy busy cities! I like to be around people and have fun. In common major cities they have concerts, huge shopping malls, and far more job opportunities.  I have been to many states around the world when my dad drove semi-trucks but, none of them interested me in terms of wanting to stay there. I have always been interested in the south, mostly because of the weather! Now as I am preparing for college I am taking all southern schools into consideration. At this time, my two favorite choices are in North/South Carolina and Georgia. I want to feel warm and safe and I have always felt that way when I travel to the south.