Dear Daddy

Dear Daddy,

What happened to us? We used to be so close. I remember all the family times we had and the motorcycle rides we took. The trips in our black freightliner all over the U.S and all the people met along the way. Those were the good ole days. Now it is like I barely even exist. It is always the Zulus or now the Omens before me. You can barely walk because of your selfish act to ride across country on a motorcycle after EVERYBODY told you not to. You force me to be cordial to that poor excuse of a wife you married. This is not how it should be between us. I cannot even trust you. I would trust an enemy of mine before I trust you with anything. I should not have to AVOID calling you; I should be WILLING to call you. Well, I am here to tell you…I forgive you and thank you.

I forgive you because I want to take the power I gave you a long time ago. I want to be able to have a relationship with you but the fact of the matter is that you are so wrapped up in yourself that you do not even care about anything or anybody else. You are a dangerous kind of selfish and every day I work the absolute hardest I can to turn my genes around so that I do not end up like you, which is disabled and lonely. You pushed every one away, including me. You did wrong by all five of your kids, their mothers, and then you did wrong by my mother and my grandmother which were the main people here for you in your times of need. All I can say is wow, and that is a shame. When I listen to mom tell me what was going on ‘behind the scenes’ of what I saw as a kid…I only have questions. My biggest question is: What was the point in all that? You just…I am having trouble trying to control my deep anger and animosity that I feel for you at this point in my life, but it is hard.

You are the one losing out because you do not interact with me. I feel no shame because it is all you.  But, I do want to thank you. Thank you for teaching what NOT to look for in somebody else. Thank you for allowing me to learn from your constant mistakes. Dad, I can honestly say that if this was the very last time I ever got to say anything to you---- I forgive you and may God have mercy on you. I love you…but I love you as the father you USED to be.

Love,

Aria

Us back then...

Us now...

Who is my role model???

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Little kids always have heroes. They watch television and they say, “Mommy, Mommy! I want to grow up and be just like that man right there! Look Mommy!” They jump up and down and point radically at the television screen. They never think twice about who that person truly is or what exactly it is that got them on TV in the first place they just want to be like them. However, when they get older they get asked the more serious, future based question: Who is my role model?

            When I think of a role model I ponder a few questions such as: What have they been through, what have they overcome, how do they face their obstacles, and more importantly…Do they ever meet the bar they set for themselves? Most kids or teenagers rarely think about any of that, they just jump up and say, “I want to be just like her/him when I grow up!” I found out that it was never that simple.

          I found out recently that my mother is truly my role model. Actually, I would go as far as saying she is a living inspiration of what I will continue to strive to be as I grow up. My mom has been through a tremendous amount of obstacles in her life that have molded her into the beautiful woman that she is today. Had it not been for those adventures she embarked on or the mistakes she made, she would not have half of the wisdom she has. As I grow older and continue to listen to my mother tell her stories about her past and things she wish she could have done differently, I can only be proud to know that she has gained an infinite amount of knowledge. I want to be like her in a way, but then I also want to be more. I learn like a sponge, I soak up all the information I possibly can from my mom so that I can not only apply it to my life but also help other people.

            In the near future when I can show my appreciation more to my mom for always being there for me, I hope that she truly understands my gratitude. I could not express how thankful that I already am for the mother that God blessed me with.

If I could live anywhere....

If I could live anywhere I would probably live in the south. I have family down south and they are very warm hearted people and enormously kind. They are successful in whatever they set themselves to do. They strive to do their very best and they do not quit. In the south it’s not just my family that seems that way, it is others too. The mood in the south is very home loving and warm. People are helpful and also very understanding. The people are extremely kind.

            The weather in the south is beautiful! The sun almost always shines and the climate stays warm and inviting. I have never been a person for the cold anyhow, regardless of my birthday being in the dead of winter in December. I can get very picky; I do not like to be very cold and I do not like to be very hot. In the south, they mostly have mild winters and summers. I can deal with the heat but, I particularly dislike the cold.

            I enjoy busy cities! I like to be around people and have fun. In common major cities they have concerts, huge shopping malls, and far more job opportunities.  I have been to many states around the world when my dad drove semi-trucks but, none of them interested me in terms of wanting to stay there. I have always been interested in the south, mostly because of the weather! Now as I am preparing for college I am taking all southern schools into consideration. At this time, my two favorite choices are in North/South Carolina and Georgia. I want to feel warm and safe and I have always felt that way when I travel to the south.

If Money was no object...

In our unit The Pursuit of Happiness, I have learned that true happiness is all that matters. Money is definitely essential to being able to survive in life however; it’s not even half as valuable. I now understand how making money and enjoying the job you have is considered a “two for one deal” to some adults. Others have to live with the annoying burden of getting up each morning to go to a job that they do not enjoy just to make great amounts of money. I began looking for more interesting and creative ways to make money, while still being able to have fun and be myself once I started this project. I came up with double majoring in Fine Arts- going onto study Interior Design- and marketing, so that I can obtain my real estate license when I move down south either for or after college. I intend to pursue my happiness and even if money is an object it will only be an asset to what is truly important to me.

My Favorite Book

Personally, I can not really say that I have a favorite book. However, I have a new favorite author which is Carl Weber. He is a wonderful writer in my eyes and his books are full of actual life lessons and situations people get into. I began reading his books after one of my friends (Car'Veda) showed me a book she was reading written by Carl. She had stayed the night at my house and we woke up one afternoon and we were bored so she began telling me about the book she was reading and then soon she was reading the story to me! When she stopped, I eventually ended up going to my library to pick up the book and read it for myself to find out the ending since she refused to tell me. When I finished the book I decided that such a great story had to have a sequel which it did! Now me and Car'Veda read the books together and we try to stay in order so we do not miss anything.
Carl Weber is a realistic author. He very seldom writes a book with boring characters and an uninteresting storyline. His story lines are one of the many reasons I continue reading his series. The book I just recently finished by him is called Torn Between Two Lovers. The book was so intense to me that when I finished I cried at the very end. It was emotional, had twists and turns, and it was very dramatic. I am not sure if I can call this book my favorite by Carl yet but, it was very close.
One thing I noticed is that Carl does not make his books end with a happy ending. He more so ends his books with a realistic ending, something that would actually happen in real life. Life rarely has perfect moments or happy endings and Carl displays that all throughout every book. I think that his style of writing is very down to earth and exciting. I can honestly say that I never used to read this much or this quick before I started reading Carl's books!

Boredom -.- vs. Enjoyment :)

How many adults do I know that I can count, have chosen to work jobs that they THOUGHT would make them happy, or better off? Now, mostly all of them think otherwise because they are no longer satisfied with their jobs. Robert Frost wrote a poem that coincides with that feeling. The poem, titled “After Apple-Picking”, expresses someone’s grown boredom for their job. Frost uses imagery to convey his message of living to do something at a moment, but regretting it later.

            Frost expresses someone growing tired of apple-picking throughout the whole poem. However, he is not only referring to just apple-picking. Frost is painting a picture to say that no one wants to waste time working a job for a living only to grow tired and less interested in that job. In one particular quote he stated: “Beside it, and there may be two or three / Apples I didn’t pick upon some bough / But I am done with apple-picking”. (l. 4-6) When a person becomes tired and uninterested in doing something any longer they become careless in what they are doing. They no longer want to take part in doing that, so they do not do a quality job.

            As Frost continuously paints an unhappy picture of someone becoming bored, they start to regret their job. He again reiterates: “For I have had too much / Of apple-picking; I am overtired”. (l. 18-19) When I become bored I do either of two things: I stop what I am doing completely-or- I have to wait until an opportune time to quit whatever I am doing. Frost could have been trying to say that every now and then, things need to be a certain way in order to live out your dreams later on. Frost also expresses this in his poem.

Money is important but, not at the expense of my own happiness. Frost’s poem emphasized to me that I should not choose a job that I will not find enjoyment in because I will grow bored very quickly and wish to have spent time doing something else.  I am a very creative person whereas: I like designing things, planning parties, and seeing facial reactions at the end. So I want to be either an Interior Designer or an Event Planner. I enjoy putting parties and gatherings together. Personally, I like to surprise people. I have always wanted to plan a wedding or some big event where people are just itching to know who could put together such a beautiful event! Money is important, but my happiness has far more value.

What would I change if I could???

In my whole life, I have made countless mistakes…but who is to judge (except God) because everybody has! I have made anywhere from the dumbest mistakes all the way down to the heavier thought out mistakes. I would never blame anyone, other than myself, for any actions that I did. I know that responsibility comes with ownership of actions whether the actions were good or bad. No one is perfect therefore trying to pretend is a waste of time. Even though my list of mistakes is a run on, there is only ONE of those that I would ever change if I could.

          When I reminice the rocky relationship I once had with my mother, it pains me to mention any details. I love my mother with all of my heart, and the last thing that I would ever want to do is hurt her. However, around winter time of last year… I did just that very thing. I went out of my way to do something she told me not to do. I disobeyed her to the fullest extent and once the damage was done the only feeling I felt, was emptiness. Meanwhile, as I was over the top I had people in my ear telling me different. I simply bypassed them and continued what I felt I wanted to do.

          I wish I could take back the heartache I caused her and also the mood my actions set in our household. I went on depressed, unhappy, and utterly tore.  Now as I look back on the things I did, I find comfort in knowing that my mother was only doing as mothers’ do-which is CARE. A lucky smile sweeps across my face as I think of being an only child, has a greater effect on how my mom is parenting me. Though I wish I could take back the hurt I caused her that is not possible. All I can do is show her my appreciation for her and continue to be all that I can be. What if things had gone differently with that situation, I wonder. Well it would surely have made a difference. Even though all the pain rushes back when conversations lightly brush on the subject, I know deep in my heart… My mommy forgave me and she loves me. J

         

In My Spare Time :D

If someone were to ask me what do I love to do in my spare time....? Well I could actually give them a whole list. I truly do not do very much, on a regular basis I like to hang out with my friends, of course text; listen to music, and EAT ALL DAY EVERYDAY! One thing over rides all that lately however... Lately, I have been reading in my spare time.

          When I was younger my grandmother and my mother (as well as other adults) always encouraged me to read in and out of school. So once I picked up on the habit I never really stopped. I love to read mainly because, that is how I learn. I learn new words, read about other people’s lifestyles, become a better reader, and also stay occupied in a positive manner. I am one of very few people out of my friends that like to read in their spare time.

From my standpoint I think reading outside of school improves my comprehension, word pronunciation, and vocabulary. For me, reading is important, because every time I read a book that is good I keep reading it and I also read it faster just so I can know what happens at the end. I use that same technique in school so that in case I am being timed to read something and answer questions, like on the OGT practice tests, then I can read quick enough and answer the questions.

I love reading which also inspired me to write my own short stories when I was younger. I have always loved to write songs, poems, sometimes scripts, and even type up meaningful papers. Reading is a huge part of me and I always send a big thank you to EVERYONE who helped me when I was just learning how to sound out words!   

Music Is Me :D

Music is super essential to me because, that is all I ever truly ever do is listen to it! I listen to music, I used to write it, and sing even though I am not very good! My favorite kind of music is classic R&B and old Hip Hop. A majority of the current music like: Future, 2 Chainz, Meek Millz and whoever else has gotten into the spotlight... BIG FAT NO! I like older music because it has better meaning, beautiful one of kind lyrics, and a smoother beat. Everything they rap about now is based on: sex, drugs, money, partying, and fighting. There is WAY more to life than that.

 Right now, I would have to say my favorite singer is Marques Houston. I have been listening to his songs since mid-last week. He used to co-star on Sister, Sister as Rodger. So he is all grown up and can sing so beautifully! I switch favorite songs and favorite artists all the time so maybe, it will change later on and maybe it will stay the same. His voice is smooth and calm and it relaxes me. The tone in music is the reason why I listen to music in the first place. I have an anger issue.... so the only way I actually find some peace of mind and control is to listen to soft, comforting music. This, as I said before, rarely ever includes any of the current music that comes out. I listen to mainly songs from the early 2000's and back. I also like other R&B artists like: Tyrese, Joe, Lyfe Jennings, Beyoncé, Usher (sometimes), Alicia Keys, and Aaliyah.

Pretty much everything about me has to do with music in some form or fashion. Music is who I am, and without it…Well I would probably be one lost soul. :D

Marques Houston <3

Marques (album cover for Veteran)

Beyonce'

Tyrese Gibson



Aaliyah



Alicia Keys

Joe

Reward the Hard working .!

In the economy, times are hard and people are truly struggling. Jobs are hard to come-by and especially high end jobs that require more of your time and undivided attention. If an adult (or in this day and age maybe a teenager) happens to have a child or children, it becomes a choice between supporting their family or looking out for their family. The government should acknowledge the fact that people have to make this choice on a regular basis. 

 I really and truthfully think the government should provide free child care for working parents. It would encourage more parents to get up off their butts and get a job so they can provide for their children/child! Adults, sometimes use their children as a crutch. For example, if the child(ren) are too young to be at school then the parent has to stay home with the child(ren) and so they're unable to work.

 If the government started providing free child care to those who are working and need it, then that would eliminate the stress of wondering during the day, "I am not going to be able to work my second shift because I know that I have no one available to watch the kids." The government should really start caring about the citizens and help make these types of worries easier to deal with!

Everybody Needs Some Funn :)

            So when people ask you what’s most valuable to you, what are you going to say? You’re going to conjure up something sensitive and sentimental right?! Like for instance, “Hey Mr. or Mrs. So-and-so I feel that my family; friends; love; honesty; or education is most valuable to me!” Then the whole class is probably going to be like “AWEE,” all in unison and then you’re going to feel warm and fuzzy inside because you repeated another common value in life. Don’t get me wrong, nothing’s wrong with any of those answers and those are good and all….but me personally I need some flavor!

            If you ask me what do I value most in life you’re going to be shocked and probably look at me cross eyed. You know what? I’ll save you the trouble asking me…. I value having fun and enjoying life!

Some people don’t get a chance to enjoy any of their lives. Look around kids are stepping up and acting like adults, becoming parents all extra early, trying to be grown, and buckle down to their responsibilities. Well that’s nice but, we’re what 15 and 16 years old? We shouldn’t be trying to concentrate on how we’re going to pay the cable bill, at least not yet. We should be having fun which means, yes we make mistakes while picking up the lesson at the end. I’m always up for a good time. Invite me to go skating, the movie theatre, the bowling alley, or even to a football game; I’ll turn the simplest event into a fun loving activity for everybody! I believe in having fun because well….we have plenty of time for the seriousness and the poker faces later in life. I’m not talking drastic changes like go home and tell your mom’s that you decided you’re not babysitting your little brother Jay Jay or Harold because you’re going skating. You may get grounded or yelled at! I can’t help you there sorry!

Life is long yet short. I don’t know about anyone else but, I don’t want to grow up and then be mad that I never got to have any fun. I want to be able to make mistakes, get a couple laughs, enjoy being carefree, and just have fun. No one’s getting any younger so I’m running out of time. Having fun de-stresses me, kind of like having weekends to get breaks from school. When I’m feeling sad, I might call up some friends and go skating. If homework has been nerve racking then I might hit up a football game. No matter the feeling or how rough it gets I know that I can always be relieved… if I just go have fun!

           

One Missed Soul

            This past summer was very much boring to me until at about 6:00 am on August 10^th I was supposed to wake up, go to work with my mom and afterwards go school clothes shopping. My mom walked in my room and practically shook me awake, with tears flowing freely from her eyes. When I opened my eyes and looked at her I automatically thought the worst, which is exactly what it was. She looked at me, mournfully as if someone had just died. To my surprise, someone did. A woman that I called everyday to say hi and I love you too in Memphis, was gone. Since I was in a deep sleep when my mom walked into my room to break this horrible news to me, I went back to sleep after I heard my grandmother’s tear filled voice through the phone. The next time I awoke, I had passed the news by as simply a bad dream… but it wasn’t a dream. Reality sunk in my heart when I came downstairs to see my great-grandmother’s picture sitting by a cross shaped candle holder, candle lit, and the mood very grim. I immediately plopped down on the chair at the kitchen table and proceeded to cry. Her passing was such a shock to me because we had just drove down to Memphis, Tennessee for the 4^th of July to visit her in the rehabilitation center. They shortly released her to her home and I had talked to her and, my grandmother who was there taking care of her, everyday since she had arrived home. This wasn’t the most exciting thing that happened to me but, it was certainly the most traumatic. My great-grandmother meant the world to me and now that she’s no longer here, I find it hard to still dial that number and know that I can’t say hi or say I love you to her anymore.

            Even though this was a very sad time for me, some good did come out of it. I hadn’t really been around my mom’s side of the family that much, so this gave me a chance to meet them and interact with them. Which, is what my great-grandmother always wanted. I’m thankful that I got a chance to say goodbye, and then again say hello to so many new warm and inviting faces. That just goes to show you that sometimes good things can come from bad situations.

My Name

Have you ever heard someone sing an opera?  My name is ARIA, which is a long solo opera. Yeah, you know those usually extremely loud (viking looking) ladies that sound like metal pots and pans clanging together, while a desperate child cries for help. Well as beautiful as they’re singing can be, unfortunately it’s not for me!  My mom wanted to name me beautifully yet, intensively.

Before I was born my mom wanted to make my name special. She wanted it to have meaning but, at the same time uncommon. It had to be beautiful yet, have a story to it. My dad thought that I was going to be a boy, he undermined my mom, even though she KNEW I would be a girl.

When she finally came up with my name it was a combination of her name (Harrilyn) and my father’s name (Madara).

That’s exactly who I am, a beautiful combination of my parents. Sometimes loud, but I can be quiet. I can be funny, but I can be serious when needed. And even sometimes be lazy, but I have the grit to make it through in the end. Between me, my mom, and my dad: we all like to keep it simple. You catch us on a great day we can be bright, or garish. My dad can be more of a jokester or a buffoon and my mom is mostly serious, but she can be silly too. I have my moments where I
can be both or either one.

As most of you saw last year, I can be a handful. One thing that shows me your character is whether or not you allow me to be me, but always help me if you're able. I have nothing but love for whoever's willing to uncover it. So in a nutshell -----> :) I’m Aria Nicole Edmonds and I’m the one and only.

#1 Rule

My number one rule is DO NOT LIE TO ME OR ON ME. That's classified as being fake to me, therefore I do not need any of that extra drama. My reason for not wanting people to lie about me or on me is that I'm too nice and caring for you to do that! I give people too much benefit of the doubt personally for all of that. If you misunderstand or misinterpret whatever I say or do there's no reason why you can't address that to ME, not someone else. For example, if we have an argument and you go talking bad about me to someone else, not cool at all. If you have something to say about me come see me about me.